I've seen my share of wedding days go perfectly smoothly and I've seen my share of the ones that don't. In both cases, the experience of the bride and groom is what ultimately determines how they look back on their day. Even the worst of days can be remembered as "perfect" when they don't impede on the couple's ability to enjoy themselves and be in the moment together. Here are some tips that can help you out no matter what comes your way on wedding day:
1) Separate Yourself - if your wedding party is starting to get to you, take a break! Don't let drama creep in on this day. Having a little time to yourself can be accomplished by getting ready a little ahead of the group and then stepping out for some photos and a breather!
2) Designate a Buffer Person - a little different than a DD, this person will be the "catch all" for communications meant for you. They will decide when and what needs to actually be told to you directly. Make sure they are the right person for the job, though! Denying total access, especially from vendors is never a good idea and can lead to extra problems. Just have them there to weed out the well-meaning advice from family members who really don't have a clue what pressure you're under.
3) Snack and Water Table - Hangry ain't Happy!! Make sure you and your wedding party have a snack and water table accessible in the prep space.
4) Eye on the Prize - Everyone will say, "all that matter is you'll be married"....which isn't particularly helpful when you've just poured your heart and soul into planning this thing, not to mention the $$$$ you've invested! So, my tip for keeping your eye on the prize is this: Make a very small list of things you are excited about that can't go wrong no matter what. For example, the first kiss, the feel of your dad's arm as you walk down the aisle, or the clink of the glasses at the end of your best friend's speech. These are things that are GOING to happen one way or another, so when other things start going wrong, just focus on these things instead. If you dress rips, you're still going to walk the aisle. If it rains during the ceremony and you have to move indoors, there will still be a kiss at the end. Don't let things you can't control get in the way of enjoying the moments that mean the most to you.
5) Give In to the Process - Weddings have a rhythm to them, even the ones that have craziness going on in the background, so just let go and let you day unfold for you. Breathe in the special moments as they happen, even if they aren't perfect. As soon as one thing ends, something new is starting, so there are endless opportunities for things to go RIGHT even when it seems like things are going wrong.
6) Let it Go - It may sound easier to say than to do, but in the end, its the best advice. If the groomsman are too drunk for photos, try to get one, and then nix the rest. In fact, anything that is bringing you stress on the day of, NIX IT!! There is no reason to look back with regret on your wedding day! The only thing you shouldn't do away with is time between the two of you. These are your moments, this is your day. Be open and communicate with each other your expectations in advance and keep those in mind as the day progresses. If it's too hot for the Groom to keep his jacket on during photos, NIX IT! Only keep the things that are THE MOST important and I promise you'll both be much happier!
BONUS TIP: Have a keyword or phrase that the two of you agree on in advance that will give you a heads up that one of you is feeling frustrated and needs a break. It can be busy and difficult to fully communicate, especially in front of so many people. This little secret can save you a lot of stress!
1) Separate Yourself - if your wedding party is starting to get to you, take a break! Don't let drama creep in on this day. Having a little time to yourself can be accomplished by getting ready a little ahead of the group and then stepping out for some photos and a breather!
2) Designate a Buffer Person - a little different than a DD, this person will be the "catch all" for communications meant for you. They will decide when and what needs to actually be told to you directly. Make sure they are the right person for the job, though! Denying total access, especially from vendors is never a good idea and can lead to extra problems. Just have them there to weed out the well-meaning advice from family members who really don't have a clue what pressure you're under.
3) Snack and Water Table - Hangry ain't Happy!! Make sure you and your wedding party have a snack and water table accessible in the prep space.
4) Eye on the Prize - Everyone will say, "all that matter is you'll be married"....which isn't particularly helpful when you've just poured your heart and soul into planning this thing, not to mention the $$$$ you've invested! So, my tip for keeping your eye on the prize is this: Make a very small list of things you are excited about that can't go wrong no matter what. For example, the first kiss, the feel of your dad's arm as you walk down the aisle, or the clink of the glasses at the end of your best friend's speech. These are things that are GOING to happen one way or another, so when other things start going wrong, just focus on these things instead. If you dress rips, you're still going to walk the aisle. If it rains during the ceremony and you have to move indoors, there will still be a kiss at the end. Don't let things you can't control get in the way of enjoying the moments that mean the most to you.
5) Give In to the Process - Weddings have a rhythm to them, even the ones that have craziness going on in the background, so just let go and let you day unfold for you. Breathe in the special moments as they happen, even if they aren't perfect. As soon as one thing ends, something new is starting, so there are endless opportunities for things to go RIGHT even when it seems like things are going wrong.
6) Let it Go - It may sound easier to say than to do, but in the end, its the best advice. If the groomsman are too drunk for photos, try to get one, and then nix the rest. In fact, anything that is bringing you stress on the day of, NIX IT!! There is no reason to look back with regret on your wedding day! The only thing you shouldn't do away with is time between the two of you. These are your moments, this is your day. Be open and communicate with each other your expectations in advance and keep those in mind as the day progresses. If it's too hot for the Groom to keep his jacket on during photos, NIX IT! Only keep the things that are THE MOST important and I promise you'll both be much happier!
BONUS TIP: Have a keyword or phrase that the two of you agree on in advance that will give you a heads up that one of you is feeling frustrated and needs a break. It can be busy and difficult to fully communicate, especially in front of so many people. This little secret can save you a lot of stress!
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